I have noticed a curious thing in the boystyle world.
It regards girls who wish to be princes.
But not just any prince. They want to be your prince, or her prince or somebody’s prince. They want to be a prince who finds the princess.
I have become increasingly aware of girls who wish that they had a lolita for whom they could be a prince. Or girls who confess to other lolitas that they would like to be their prince. Or girls who would dress boystyle, if only they had a lolita to link arms with. Many of these girls go on to emphasize that they are not interested in girls sexually.
Is this a curious inversion? Lolita is often portrayed as a style for the self. Lolitas dress to please themselves, even at the expense of potential mates. Yet, if these common sentiments are to be believed, boystyles like kodona, oujisama, and aristocrat are the opposite. They are not worth doing if they are not done with or for another person.
Or is this more symptomatic of the common desire to connect with other lolitas? To be part of a matched set? To be special to another person? Is it more romantic to imagine the perfect pair to be the heterosexual prince/princess couple rather than the sisterly princess/princess one?
Or is it simply because boystyle is commonly seen as less exciting than lolita, and it is less fun to do it without somebody to balance out the boyishness with some serious frillage? If that were so, why is it girls who have never worn boystyle and/or have never met other lolitas who tend to express these desires?
Lolitas who long for an oujisama at their side are often criticized for treating boys as their accessories. So what are we to say about the girls who wish to be accessories?
Beth said
I’m not surprised so many straight girls want to be a prince. The prince of fairy tales is Just as virtious as the princess. But instead of defining beauty, grace and that soft spoken feminine ideal we lolita’s seem to hold dear. Well, the lifestylers at least. Princes represent strength and nobility. The princes protects what the princess holds dear. The princess is not defined by the prince, but rather the prince is defined by the princess. So the natural want is to have that princess to protect and uphold above the ills of the world. And a princess can take off that frilly skirt and don pants to protect herself as well. The prince is the princesses alter ego. or maybe I’ve watched too much Utena. Than again, it’s my favorite series for a reason!
Mary Magdalia said
You bring up several interesting points, my dear! The “prince as the princess’s alter ego” also may help explain why ouji/kodona is dominated by women, even though it’s a boystyle. Although I would argue that the modern lolita princess represents her own kind of strength, this is a strength for herself and not necessarily for others. The prince figure is infallibly noble and selfless, where the princess is self-serving and independent. And one can never watch too much Utena!
Aimee said
I agree that it’s the ideal of being powerful, or being the protector,…. or just in general being the elegant prince (the princesses’ ideal) is appealing!
It’s a romantic idea to be someone else’s ideal… but even more so, to be someone else’s protector. I like the idea of protecting my friends from ill. I like being someone’s Utena. (even while other times, I want to be the one in the ballgown) Both are an outer transformation.
I’m not saying that lolita is “weak”. I agree with you, being a lolita requires a certain amount of strength.
But dressing as a prince, visually, feels powerful. I think this is also why many girls enjoy crossplaying as bishonen (in cosplay).